I am still a work in progress. I would love to help you get your shit together but to be honest I am still working on getting mine together. I have so many issues and I am so far from perfect. I tell myself I don’t judge but really sometimes I do. I may not judge as much as the human race, but really I don’t think that is saying much. No offense, but really we are so judgemental as a species. We tare others down as soon as we see something that doesn’t fit into our perfect world and ideal of what others should be. I even spout off like I’m condemning others but in reality, I am doing the exact same thing. I talk about having a conscious community for every single soul on earth, to assure everyone has the ability to have their basic needs be met but as soon as someone pisses me off I think about how to make sure they would never be allowed to be a member.  Really? That is where I go? Isn’t that where we all go? We create clubs, groups, or societies and then shun anyone that doesn’t meet our standards to be in our group. Isn’t that how this how humanity thing has been working? But isn’t that the kind of thing I am trying to fight? Then why the fuck do I automatically go to exclusion when people suck at life? Are these the people I am trying to help though?

Ok, so sex offenders and pedophiles are different and should have separate communities for others safety but I feel that is different. Everyone deserves to feel safe. However, the basic assholes, greedy, rude, douche bag people that just suck really need help. If we don’t help them who the fuck will. Granted most of them will argue to the death that they do not need any help and maybe I just need to accept that. I can’t change anyone, I can only change myself. However, I can be empathetic and show others how to behave, and also, how to treat me. Too often I allow other people to treat me like shit, then it continues and I get pissed they keep treating me badly when really I have myself to blame. Every time I continue to take being treated poorly and am telling others, “It’s okay to treat me bad. I’ll take it. It is acceptable”. I don’t have to be a doormat but I don’t have to sink to their level either.

I have been struggling with rising above lately. I totally want to sink to the shitty people’s attitudes and then one up them. I know that isn’t the right thing to do but in my mind, it feels like it would be so satisfying. I want to help the assholes be better human beings but I guess I should work on being a better human being myself. I’m not going to get anywhere by exclusion. I’ve learned almost 5 years ago I would have to be in the weeds to understand what it is to get the fuck out of them. I didn’t think it would take so long, or that you could get so deeply stuck in the muck. Lesson almost learned. Still getting there but as is life. I don’t know how to help others and I don’t have all the solutions right now but maybe one day we’ll get there together.